When Someone Asked Me About My...

When someone asked me about my relationship with my ex that didn't work out, I simply answer:

Religion. Hindi kasi marunong sumamba sa tunay na Diyosa!

Hehehe =D

Para Akong Isang Libong Piso...

Para akong isang libong piso na nakakalat sa lupa.

Inaangkin ng iba, di naman kanila.

Wahahaha =D

A Rich Lawyer Was in His Limousine...

A rich lawyers was in his limousine when he saw two (2) men on the road eating grass. He stopped to talk to them.

Lawyer: Why are you eating grass?
Man 1: We don't have money. My family is starving.
Lawyer: Come to my house and eat there.
Man 1: I have a wife and two kids.
Lawyer: It's okay, take them with you.
Man 2: I also have a wife and five kids.
Lawyer: Then more the merrier!
Men: You are so kind!
Lawyer: You will love to eat at my estate. The grass is almost two feet tall!

Wonk, wonk, wonk ~ ;-P

Lolo, Lola, Makakalimutin...

Lolo at Lola nag-uusap...
Lolo: Kuha mo ako ng ice cream sa ref.
Lola: Sige!
Lolo: Ice cream ha! Huwag mag-uulyanin.
Lola: Ako ulyanin? Ikukuha pa kita ng favorite mong vanilla ice cream!
Lolo: Naalala mo pa paborito ko ah! Galing!

Lola punta kusina, balik dala hotdog.
Lolo: Ano 'yan? Ulyanin ka talaga!
Lola: Bakit?
Lolo: Nakalimutan mo yung ketchup! Duh?!

Nyahaha! Sino kaya sa kanila ang mas ulyanin? ;P

Inday, Ate, at Medical Chorvaness...

Inday: Ati, kilangan daw hu ipaEXTRAY ang olo ni diyunyor!
Mother: Gaga, anong EXTRAY?!
Inday: Anu pu ba dafat?
Mother: CTSKULL! Boba!

Nyahaha! ;P

Barker, Pasahero, at Cubao...

Barker ng bus: Ah, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao, cubao,!

Pasahero: Bossing, cubao?

Nyahaha! Putik, sarap sipain papuntang Cubao yung pasahero, lol ;P

Prayer Ng Mga Kikay...

Prayer ng mga Kikay: In the name of the POWDER and of the BLUSH-ON and of the GLOSSY LIPSTICK, SALAMEN.

 Hahaha ;o)

Mom, Daughter, and Duty.

Isang gabi:

Mom: Papauwi ka na ba? Asan ka na?
Daughter: Andito po ako sa ospital, Ma.

Her mom then cried tremendously.

Mom: Anong nangyari sa iyo at nandiyan ka, anak ko? Huhuhu...
Daughter: Ma, naman! Nurse ako at duty ko ngayon. Sowsginoo!

Nyahahaha ;D

In Europe, where Pieta created by Michaelangelo...

In Europe, where Pieta created by Michaelangelo is currently displayed:

Italians: Magnifico!
Brits: Bloody brilliant!
Americans: Wow, amazing!
Japanese: Sugoi!
Filipinos: Kodakan na! Dali! Dali! Picture-picture tayo! Pang-Friendster na 'to!

Wahahaha =o)

Census, MRS. & Mga Anak...

Census: Mrs., ilan ang anak ninyo?
Mrs.: 12 boys! Lahat name nila ay Johnnie para kapag sumigaw ako, lahat sila ay lalapit.
Census: Eh paano po kung isang bata lang ang kailangan ninyo?
Mrs.: Ah, syempres sa apelyido na yan.

Nyahahaha ;P

Piolo, Sam, and Needs...

Piolo: There are only five (5) things a person needs in his life--some work, some fun, some friends, some love, and sam milby.

Nyahahaha ;D

The Best Way to Heal A Heart That...

The best way to heal a heart that has been broken is to kill that person who has made it happen. Very inspiring indeed ;P

A Frog Went Inside Malacanang Palace...

A frog went inside the Malacanang Palace and it deeply distrubed GMA for when the frog croaked, it said, "Korap! Korap! Korap!"

Hahahaha ;o)

Desperadang Panget & Her Diary Entry...

Dear Diary by Desperadang Panget:

Gosh, I'm so happy! Nahuli kasi me ng crush ko na nakatingin sa kanya! Tapos sabi niya tang-ina ko daw! Gwapo niya nung sinabi yun, in fairness!

Last time naman natulak niya me tapos dumugo nose ko kasi sinadya ko siya bangggain. Nakakakilig, Dear Diary! At least di ba nagdikit kami?

Humingi na siya sa akin ng picture eh. Shet! Ang haba ng hair ko! Grabeh! Sabi kasi niya ipapasalvage daw niya ako. How sweet, right?

Tomorrow ulit ha! Tawagan ko muna siya. Sana di niya ibagsak ulit ang phone. Shit! I love him na talaga! Forever na ito! ;)

Taong Grasa, Estudyante, at Bisyo...

Taong Grasa: Palimos po?
Estudyante: Umiinom ka ba o nagyoyosi?
Taong Grasa: Naku, wala ho akong bisyo!
Estudyante: 'Lika! Sama ka sa bahay para makita ng mga magulang ko ang kinakalabasan ng taong walang bisyo sa buhay.

Hehehe, 'tado 'to ah! ;P

Juan, Pedro at Elisi...

Juan: Bakit yung airplane kapag umiikot ang elisi umaangat sa lupa eh yung electric fan hinde?

Pedro: Tanga ka pala eh! Kasi yung electric fan my kurdon kaya pinipigilan lumipad yun! Duh?!

Wahahaha ;o)

Boyfriend, Girlfriend, and Pictures...

Boyfriend (BF) and Girlfriend (GF) after having sex.

GF: Bakit kuha mo ng picture flower ko?
BF: Papasikat ako sa barkada ko. Eh, ikaw, bakit mo kuha din picture bird ko?
GF: Ipapa-enlarge ko lang.

Nyahahaha ;P

Alam Mo, Hindi Ko Na Alam Kung...

Alam mo, hindi ko na alam kung paano na ako kung wala ka sa likod ko. Pakiramdam ko lahat ng gagawin ko ay mali. Ang masama pa, wala ka para itama iyon.

~ Lapis na walang pambura. Emo pala!

Hahaha! Happy araw! ;P

Pare 1, Pare 2, At Pacquiao...

Pare 1: Sikat na talaga si Pacquiao, no?

Pare 2: Bakit naman?

Pare 1: Bumili kasi ako ng bagong phone. May option na sent to Many!

Pare 2: Tanga nito! Matagal na yun kaya. Di naman nagtetextback si Many eh.

Acheche! :-D

I Was Once Asked By A Curious...

I was once asked by a curious four-year old boy. A Question that made my jaw drop and left me puzzled until this time.

The boy asked me this: Ano po ang animal sound ng giraffe?

Ano nga ba?! Juice ko naman!